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Saturday, January 24, 2009

I am $9,300,000.00 richer today.

What is wrong with me? I want to reply to the poor fellow and fix his grammar so he gets better results.


OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENCY
FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA.
ATTENTION:BENEFICIARY, (That's ME!)

THIS IS TO OFFICIALLY INFORM YOU THAT WE HAVE VERIFIED YOUR CONTRACT/INHERITANCE FILE AND FOUND OUT THAT WHY YOU HAVE NOT RECEIVED YOUR PAYMENT IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT FUFILLED THE OBLIGATIONS GIVEN TO YOU IN RESPECT OF YOUR CONTRACT/INHERITANCE PAYMENT.

SECONDLY WE HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT YOU ARE STILL DEALING WITH THE NONE OFFICIALS IN THE BANK ALL YOUR ATTEMPT TO SECURE THE RELEASE OF THE FUND TO YOU. WE WISH TO ADVISE YOU THAT SUCH AN ILLEGAL ACT LIKE THIS HAVE TO STOP IF YOU WISHES TO RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT SINCE WE HAVE DECIDED TO BRING A SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM.

RIGHT NOW WE HAVE ARRANGED YOUR PAYMENT THROUGH OUR SWIFT CARD PAYMENT CENTER ASIA PACIFIC, THAT IS THE LATEST INSTRUCTION FROM OUR NEW PRESIDENT,UMARU MUSA YAR'ADUA (GCFR) FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA.(Well at least he got the Presidents name right!) THIS CARD CENTER WILL SEND YOU AN (INTERNATIONAL ATM CARD) WHICH YOU WILL USE TO WITHDRAW YOUR MONEY IN ANY ATM MACHINE OF YOUR CHOICE IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD, BUT THE MAXIMUM AMOUNT TO WITHDRAW PER DAY IS FIVE THOUSAND FIVE UNITED STATES DOLLARS ($5,500.00) SO IF YOU LIKE TO RECEIVE YOUR FUND IN THIS WAY,PLEASE LET US KNOW BY CONTACTING OUR ATM PAYMENT DEPARTMENT AND ALSO SEND THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION AS LISTED BELOW.

1.FULL NAME:
2.ADDRESS WHERE YOU WANT YOUR ATM SWIFT CARD TO BE SENT: (Don't you need my bank account number too?)
3.PHONE AND FAX NUMBER:
4.YOUR AGE AND CURRENT OCCUPATION:
5.ATTACH COPY OF YOUR IDENTIFICATION: (Will my passport do?)
6.COUNTRY/STATE:

HOWEVER, KINDLY CONTACT OUR ATM PAYMENT SETLEMENT DEPARTMENT ON THEIR BELOW INFORMATION FOR IMMEDIATE RECEIVE YOUR ATM PAYMENT CARD.
REV. DR MARK BECKER OKOH, (A reverend AND a Doctor? He must be a wonderful guy!)
ATM PAYMENT SETLEMENT DEPARTMENT
MOBILE: +234-70924 458 27
EMAIL: atmcardpayment.centerdept811@googlemail.com

THE ATM CARD PAYMENT CENTER HAS BEEN MANDATED TO ISSUE OUT $9,300,000.00 AS PART PAYMENT FOR THIS FISCAL YEAR 2009. ALSO FOR YOUR INFORMATION,YOU HAVE TO STOP ANY FURTHER COMMINUCATION WITH ANY OTHER PERSON(s) OR OFFICE(s) TO AVOID ANY HITCHES IN RECEIVING YOUR PAYMENT.

NOTE:THAT BECAUSE OF IMPOSTORS, WE HEREBY ISSUED YOU OUR CODE OF CONDUCT,WHICH IS (ATM-811) SO YOU HAVE TO INDICATE THIS CODE WHEN CONTACTING THE CARD CENTER BY USING IT AS YOUR SUBJECT. (I have a code of Conduct? Cool!)

REGARDS,
MR.SADIQ ALMAN
CHIEF AUDITOR TO THE PRESIDENT
FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA.

4 comments:

katydidnot said...

"CHIEF AUDITOR TO THE PRESIDENT
FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA."

and yet his email is googlemail.com.

weird.

otherwise, totally believable.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

I wouldn't waste my time on an ATM card that would only give me five grand per day. Bah to that. Cheap bastards.

Betty said...

Oh, this is too funny! I think the last one I received was from Bulgaria...is there still a Bulgaria? Well, whatever. Please to let me know if you kindly wish to send me some payments of the money you withdraw with ATM card from.......I be pleased to accept any monetary payment you give from your payments....duh!

Sam said...

This is a funny post. But I am actually writing because I just saw your comment on the Jarrah story, and oh, I am so sorry about your son and the snowboarding! And you are such a good mummy to go flying out there to bake cookies and clean! I guess he just has to wait it out, too, huh? I hope he's not in too much pain. Great to hear from you (despite the circumstances!) and hope to see you soon. smooches, S.