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Sunday, May 20, 2007

Kaboom! Your Oxi is clean and your Orange glows…

(THIS IS TRUE STORY!)

When Henry was a tiny baby, I remember being completely amazed at his reaction to infomercials. “Adverts” as Henry calls them now. This child had no interest in Black Adder, or M.A.S.H. Nor could I convince him to even look up for a second at Sesame Street, Barney or Teletubbies, but Billy Mays got him every time. A peddler, a pitchman, trafficker of cleaning products made Henry look up and watch with eyes wide open for the full 2 minutes every single time he came on the telly. He was great at creating a sense of urgency. Get it NOW really stuck with Henry.

A conversation with Henry the other night while I was working on the computer and he was watching Nickelodeon.

H: (Running down the hall) Mummy, Mummy, you have to let me get on the computer RIGHT NOW!
M: I am working Hen, what is so important?
H: I have to sign up TODAY for Westwood College’s Online Program.
M: What College? You’re 7? What are you talking about?
H: Mummy, they said on Nickelodeon that I can go online to learn to animate and design video games. I have idea’s and I want to design one NOW. Go to the website NOW please. Right NOW please. NOW OK? NOW, please Mummy.
M: OK, let’s go see what it says. (There was no way he was going to let me finish my work until I went there and checked it out.)
M: Sorry Henry, it says here that you have to graduate from High School to take these classes. You are only in 1st grade.
H: It’s OK. YOU went to college. Pretend it’s you signing up and I will take the classes… or how ‘bout you sign up and learn how to do it, and then you can teach me. Do it Mummy. At least ask for more information NOW.

I sent in an online request for more information that night with Henry looking over my shoulder, directing me as to what to ask. How long does it take? How much does it cost? How old do you have to be? Do you really have to graduate from HS before you can learn?
He came to me 3 times Sunday night asking me to check my email to see if they had answered yet and he directed me Monday morning to keep checking email while he was in school, just in case they answered.

I have gotten 3 hard sell phone calls, from admission advisors since then, asking me when I want to start Westwood College of Game Art and Design. The program costs $70,000. And it takes 3 years. He wouldn’t be able to design a game until he was in 4th grade.

I gave Hen the bad news… I told him that it was way too expensive I didn’t have that kind of money right now.

He went away (dreams crushed) for about 5 minutes then came running down the hall again…

H: Mummy, Mummy, do you have any scrap gold? We could sell it for cash! I just saw an advert on Nickelodeon about how to get fast cash for your scrap gold to make extra money for anything you want. And if you go to www.goldkit.com you can get a FREE gold kit to send in your teeth today. And shipping is free!

Do it Mummy won’t you please? NOW?

6 comments:

mojotek said...

Hahaha! I used to be the exact same way when I was a kid. Everything they pitched to me in an ad when I was in first grade was just as important for me to get as the guy on the television made it seem. My mom had to keep me from dialing those 1-800 numbers many many times.

Anonymous said...

Love it! DO NOT let him watch the Home Shopping Network! Can you imagine the "gorgeous gemstones and CZ's" that would arrive at your home daily?
jamie

Cheri said...

Laura handed me a sheet of paper this weekend that said:

No Heat!
No Glue!
No Mess!

Call 1-800-526-1693 for Aquadots.
Order now and get a special offer.

(I really want this Mommy.)

Cheri said...

Also, the other day, we were at the grocery store and I was about to put some paper towels in my cart. Laura said, "Mommy, you should get Bounty, it's the quicker picker upper."

Cheri said...

I just tagged you with a meme. The rules and format are on my blog post "Eight is Enough." :)

Anonymous said...

patticakes! I spent some time reading you blog- so as not to be a lurker, I am leaveing a comment! Loved it :)

Elena