Search This Blog

Monday, September 18, 2006

Voted off the Island... and so early in the season.

Yesterday was a big day.
Henry got home from dad's just in time to rush off to a birthday party. A truly fabulous all boy birthday party that included combat gear, green hair, obstacle courses, zip lines over piranah infested swamps, and a dusty secret mission ...followed by cupcakes, cold stone ice cream, M&Ms, gummy bears, sprinkles, chocolate sauce and no protein what so ever.

Not being an ice cream eater, I was starving when we left, so I dragged my famished body, and Henry's stuffed one to Cheri's house, unannounced, to beg her and Laura to go to dinner with us. I was thrilled that she answered the door with "Please say you are starving and you are here because you want to go to dinner". I love her. She can read my mind! Laura and Henry however had other ideas. Henry wanted to take his shoes off and stay awhile and in doing so, dumped about a 1/2 cup of dirt from his previous secret mission onto Cheri's clean stairs. I cringed but knew nothing of the cringing that was to come.

We finally got the kids out of the house, and headed to Islands®, one of our favorite weekly dinner haunts. It just doesn't feel like a proper week if Henry and I haven't had dinner with Laura, Cheri and Tom, at least once or twice. We went together in Cheri's car, the Lexus fondly known for causing unexplained projectile puking. (Back in August Henry and I got a Good Sport Award when on the way to church, Laura threw up on her Dad and I helped clean it up a little. It really was no big deal at all. I have cleaned up plenty of puke in my time and think nothing of it really. Until tonight.

The kids were a little cranky so after counseling them in the parking lot on how to treat each other with consideration and love, we went in to eat. I sat with Laura on my side of the booth and Cheri sat with Henry. Later Tom even joined us. We had lots of protein at the table and tried our best to get our kids to eat some. Towards the end, Henry started saying the he wanted to go to the bathroom. Last time we went to the toilet at Islands®, he took 20 minutes in the men's room while I paced outside the door shouting every time the door opened - "Hurry up Henry or I'm coming in there" making a spectacle of myself while my margarita sat at the table getting diluted by the melting ice. This time I was determined to wait as long as possible to take him, so as to minimize the wait in hall outside the bathroom door. This turned out to be an unwise gamble, and I saw it coming way too late. Henry's face turned pasty white, his eyes got a glassy look and his little head started going in tiny circles. He projectile puked more birthday party colors than I have ever seen... and he did it in Cheri's lap.. 3 times before our shock wore off and we all jumped to action.

Chaos ensued as we gathered napkins and towels, rushed Laura out the door, wiped the puke off everything and everyone and tried to take care of Henry. We ended up hustling out the door leaving double tip, lots of barf and disgruntled, nauseated patrons. And poor Cheri. She helped me strip Henry down in the parking lot, put a pair of Laura's ballet underpants on him before even attempting to attend to herself and her puking wet, clotty jeans. Talk about a good sport. I felt so bad, I was wiping puke off her bum and legs and practically wanted to cry. Then Cheri did something that I haven't seen a grown woman do since my 21st birthday. She stripped off her jeans, right there in the parking lot, wadded them up matter-of-factly, got in the car and drove home in her undies! What a problem solver. When we arrived at the house Tom was waiting in the driveway with a towel for Cheri and a tablecloth for Henry and even though I feel absolutely awful for both of them, I have never laughed so hard in my life. Man I owe her.

Bless you Cheri! I do just love you and I hope you don't mind if we find a new place to have dinner next week. I think the Island has probably voted us off for good!


jamie said...

OH..MY...GOSH! That did NOT happen. Is there an award great enough to give to that lovely family? Perhaps a trip to Disneyland, or better yet, babysit while Cheri and Tom go to a real island...alone?
Whew. Poor pukey Henry. And Cheri...I need a friend like you!

jamie said...

See Cheri, our Mom's were right. We should always leave the house wearing clean underwear. But they didn't tell us to bring an extra pair of ballet panties for our friends.

Trish said...

Oh and did I mention that Tom paid the tab for all of us and Cheri put up half the cash for the "extra tip". If anyone reading this has any ideas for a nice "sorry my kid puked on you, thank you for being such an amazing friend amazing gift" please let me know!

Anonymous said...

I think the patrons of Islands can't wait for you to come back after Cheri's strip! The clean-up crew - well ...
Thanks for a sympathetic laugh!
Best, Gail

Courtney!! said...

That is so funny. I can't even imagine. I am only sorry that I missed it.

On a different note, I know that I am allergic to scallops--really allergic. So we are thinking that maybe whatever we ate touched scallops and that is what made me react. I can't even touch a scallop without swelling up. So I am still reacting and it has been a fun week for me and Grant.

Rick said...

Just read your blog with the many contests (puking,stripping,etc) and am still laughing. Going to bed now with visions of Islands in my head.

xoxoxo, R

Riana said...

Toooooo funny!! That is one great friend!

Mary and Paul said...

It is too cute that you all met in kindergarten.

What a wonderful friendship you all have.


Mrs. Roo