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Friday, October 30, 2009

Thursday, July 16, 2009

In which it is established that I am genetically programmed to be a hippie.

I was adopted. And it was obvious to me at a young age, that I didn’t fit into the family that adopted me. Without any genetic or family information myself, even as a little kid, I found myself a bit confused and fascinated by genetics and nature vs. nurture debates. I felt like a ship without a port for 30 years.

Then I found my bio family. One of the first real relatives I ever met, was my Uncle Jim. My birth-mother’s brother. He lived in San Francisco and ran an alternative health business out of his house. He was funny and spiritual and artistic and loving and cosmic. He kept a journal and drew, and opened his life and home to everyone. He lived and taught and loved to the fullest. We connected from the moment we met, in a way I had not experienced connection before. I adored him. It was because of him, I finally collected, understood and owned an actual piece of myself. Because of him, I know, that I was genetically pre-programmed to be a free spirit. I am a happy, peace loving, free spirited hippie. And I am claiming it! It is not all that I am. I am not defined by what I found, but I understand that part of myself better now and I can embrace the hippie in me.




Last week, Uncle Jimmy passed away. A small memorial was held for him in his “cosmic kitchen.” A celebration of his life with the MANY friends he had, will be sometime in the next few weeks and I will be there. In the meantime, I am posting some pictures that will surely show what kind of man he was. My beautiful Uncle Jimmy. My cosmic, genetic connection to who I really am. Goodbye Uncle. Tell my birth mother you got to know me on this earth. You will be missed!










Jim Karnstedt passed away peacefully, surrounded by loving friends and family July 10 at the age of 63 following a sudden illness. Born in Minneapolis, MN, he lived in San Francisco since 1969. He was a healer and educator, sharing his wealth of information through lectures, video and his business, Ion & Light. Jim touched many lives with his generosity and his enchanting spirit. He was loved by all who knew him. A celebration of his life will be held soon in San Francisco.

Monday, June 29, 2009

In honor of Billy Mays...


Kaboom! Your Oxi is clean and your Orange Glo's…
This story previously posted here, is being re-posted in honor of our favorite guy Billy Mays who died yesterday. We are heartbroken.

(TRUE STORY!)

When Henry was a tiny infant, barely able to raise his head, I remember being completely amazed at his reaction to infomercials (adverts as he calls them.) This little half Brit baby had no interest in Pat the Postman, Bob the Builder or even Black Adder (my favorite.) Nor could I convince him to even look up for a second at Sesame Street, Barney or Teletubbies, but Billy Mays got him every time.

A peddler, pitchman, trafficker of cleaning products made Henry look up and watch with eyes wide open for the full 2 minutes every single time he came on the telly. That Billy Mays was better at creating a sense of urgency than Elmo or the Cookie Monster.

And apparently, get it NOW, really stuck with Henry.

A conversation with Henry the other night (in 2007) while I was working on the computer and he was watching Nickelodeon.

H: (Running down the hall) Mummy, Mummy, you have to let me get on the computer RIGHT NOW!
M: I am working Hen, what is so important?
H: I have to sign up TODAY for Westwood College’s Online Program.
M: What College? You’re 7? What are you talking about?
H: Mummy, they said on Nickelodeon that I can go online to learn to animate and design video games. I have idea’s and I want to design one NOW. Go to the website NOW please. Right NOW please. NOW OK? NOW, please Mummy.
M: OK, let’s go see what it says. (There was no way he was going to let me finish my work until I went there and checked it out.)
M: Sorry Henry, it says here that you have to graduate from High School to take these classes. You are only in 1st grade.
H: It’s OK. YOU went to college. Pretend it’s you signing up and I will take the classes… or how ‘bout you sign up and learn how to do it, and then you can teach me. Do it Mummy! At least ask for more information NOW.

I sent in an online request for more information that night with Henry looking over my shoulder, directing me as to what to ask. How long does it take? How much does it cost? How old do you have to be? Do you really have to graduate from HS before you can learn?
He came to me 3 times Sunday night asking me to check my email to see if they had answered yet and he directed me Monday morning to keep checking email while he was in school, just in case they answered.

I have gotten 3 hard sell phone calls, from admission advisors since then, asking me when I want to start Westwood College of Game Art and Design. The program costs $70,000. And it takes 3 years. At that rate he wouldn’t be able to design a game until he was in 4th grade.

I gave Hen the bad news… I told him that it was way too expensive I didn’t have that kind of money right now.

He went away (dreams crushed) for about 5 minutes then came running down the hall again…

H: Mummy, Mummy, do you have any scrap gold? We could sell it for cash! I just saw an advert on Nickelodeon about how to get fast cash for your scrap gold to make extra money for anything you want. And if you go to www.goldkit.com you can get a FREE gold kit to send in your teeth today. And shipping is free! Then you can afford to go to college again.

Do it Mummy won’t you please? NOW?

Thank you Billy! You will be missed.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Some Fatherly Advice.

FATHER: All a girl needs to know to get by in life, is written on the top of a mayonnaise jar.

DAUGHTER: Really? Refrigerate After Opening????

FATHER: No, in my day mayo jars always said: Keep Cool. Don't Freeze.




Thursday, February 12, 2009

Please don't be a GAYCIST!

From the Courage Campaign website:

On December 19, 2008, Ken Starr and the Prop 8 Legal Defense Fund filed legal briefs defending the constitutionality of Prop 8 and seeking to nullify the marriages of 18,000 devoted same-sex couples solemnized before Prop 8 passed.

The Supreme Court will hear oral arguments in this case on March 5, with a decision expected within 90 days. Ask that the Court enforce the equality promised to each of us by our constitution and invalidate Prop 8.

Please click here and sign the petition: Courage Campaign Petition

Monday, February 02, 2009

Snowboarding: America's most dangerous outdoor activity

I read in the paper just a few days ago that more people are hurt snowboarding than any other outdoor activity, accounting for a quarter of emergency room visits.
Then I got the call. "Mom I am in the emergency room, they say I need surgery."

Here is the story. In living color. (GORE ALERT)

The boys. And the hill. (Or should I say cliff?)






The result:





The cutting: (Yep these are really Anthony)



The drilling and screwing:



The drugs:



Look. I am bionic. Better than I was before. When can I snowboard again?



ME: (see my hairgetting grayer?)

Saturday, January 24, 2009

I am $9,300,000.00 richer today.

What is wrong with me? I want to reply to the poor fellow and fix his grammar so he gets better results.


OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENCY
FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA.
ATTENTION:BENEFICIARY, (That's ME!)

THIS IS TO OFFICIALLY INFORM YOU THAT WE HAVE VERIFIED YOUR CONTRACT/INHERITANCE FILE AND FOUND OUT THAT WHY YOU HAVE NOT RECEIVED YOUR PAYMENT IS BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT FUFILLED THE OBLIGATIONS GIVEN TO YOU IN RESPECT OF YOUR CONTRACT/INHERITANCE PAYMENT.

SECONDLY WE HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT YOU ARE STILL DEALING WITH THE NONE OFFICIALS IN THE BANK ALL YOUR ATTEMPT TO SECURE THE RELEASE OF THE FUND TO YOU. WE WISH TO ADVISE YOU THAT SUCH AN ILLEGAL ACT LIKE THIS HAVE TO STOP IF YOU WISHES TO RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT SINCE WE HAVE DECIDED TO BRING A SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM.

RIGHT NOW WE HAVE ARRANGED YOUR PAYMENT THROUGH OUR SWIFT CARD PAYMENT CENTER ASIA PACIFIC, THAT IS THE LATEST INSTRUCTION FROM OUR NEW PRESIDENT,UMARU MUSA YAR'ADUA (GCFR) FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA.(Well at least he got the Presidents name right!) THIS CARD CENTER WILL SEND YOU AN (INTERNATIONAL ATM CARD) WHICH YOU WILL USE TO WITHDRAW YOUR MONEY IN ANY ATM MACHINE OF YOUR CHOICE IN ANY PART OF THE WORLD, BUT THE MAXIMUM AMOUNT TO WITHDRAW PER DAY IS FIVE THOUSAND FIVE UNITED STATES DOLLARS ($5,500.00) SO IF YOU LIKE TO RECEIVE YOUR FUND IN THIS WAY,PLEASE LET US KNOW BY CONTACTING OUR ATM PAYMENT DEPARTMENT AND ALSO SEND THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION AS LISTED BELOW.

1.FULL NAME:
2.ADDRESS WHERE YOU WANT YOUR ATM SWIFT CARD TO BE SENT: (Don't you need my bank account number too?)
3.PHONE AND FAX NUMBER:
4.YOUR AGE AND CURRENT OCCUPATION:
5.ATTACH COPY OF YOUR IDENTIFICATION: (Will my passport do?)
6.COUNTRY/STATE:

HOWEVER, KINDLY CONTACT OUR ATM PAYMENT SETLEMENT DEPARTMENT ON THEIR BELOW INFORMATION FOR IMMEDIATE RECEIVE YOUR ATM PAYMENT CARD.
REV. DR MARK BECKER OKOH, (A reverend AND a Doctor? He must be a wonderful guy!)
ATM PAYMENT SETLEMENT DEPARTMENT
MOBILE: +234-70924 458 27
EMAIL: atmcardpayment.centerdept811@googlemail.com

THE ATM CARD PAYMENT CENTER HAS BEEN MANDATED TO ISSUE OUT $9,300,000.00 AS PART PAYMENT FOR THIS FISCAL YEAR 2009. ALSO FOR YOUR INFORMATION,YOU HAVE TO STOP ANY FURTHER COMMINUCATION WITH ANY OTHER PERSON(s) OR OFFICE(s) TO AVOID ANY HITCHES IN RECEIVING YOUR PAYMENT.

NOTE:THAT BECAUSE OF IMPOSTORS, WE HEREBY ISSUED YOU OUR CODE OF CONDUCT,WHICH IS (ATM-811) SO YOU HAVE TO INDICATE THIS CODE WHEN CONTACTING THE CARD CENTER BY USING IT AS YOUR SUBJECT. (I have a code of Conduct? Cool!)

REGARDS,
MR.SADIQ ALMAN
CHIEF AUDITOR TO THE PRESIDENT
FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA.